Kamis, 24 Februari 2011

Do you know?

Do you know?
I am suffering from this.
When I woke up, I had to give all my time to you and my son.
Breastfeeding him, no.. I’m not complaining.
But, once his stomach was full – he started to vomit.. vomit.. and vomit.
And… who the one to be blamed?
It’s me!

Everybody said, “Oh.. you eat unhealthy food.”
“Oh, you suppose to stop breastfeeding him after 15 minutes..”
“Oh.. that’s your fault.”
Once I cried, no one cares about it. It’s the mother’s problem. It’s not our problem – they said. 

And now..
He was sick, I was sick as well,
No breastfeeding at all.
I’m suffering from this.
Then I had to take medicine, so I can be better soon,
Then what happened?
He didn’t want it, because the antibiotics made my milk bitter, he refused his food.
I’m suffering from this.
Until now, when he refused it, still my fault. 

“You didn’t take care of your breasts.”
“You have to put warm cloth on it”
“Your breasts are not good” 

Every little thing is my fault.
I’m suffering from this, do you know?

I had to pump it every three hours; I kept in touch with tools not my son,
Do you know? 

I wish I can get more patience from God,
I wish I can stop my tears that flow easily

As if I can resign to be a mother,
I’m doing it, now. But you know, I can’t.