Kamis, 14 Februari 2013

List 2013.

Who's on my list this year?
It's not so many - just some special people.

1. My Hubby - this is a compulsory , although he always forgets to give me something. :p

2. Nemo - He is  from England. He is young, he's free, he's kind, and yes, he's creative. He helps me alot in proof reading all my writing. He deserves one from me. :p

3. Bellissima - She is a new gal in the office, but she is often makes me happy. Why not sharing one with her. She gave me loads of snack, especially tim tam :D

4.Mrs. Blake to be - She is my 'sister' at the office. She is crazy, loud, but I love her.

5. Mimi - She is my partner in crime in my business. She said I was very kind giving her chocolate. It's no problem, darl.

6. Mrs. Made - She always shares her food, fruits, suggestions, ideas - so, this day, I'd like to make her happy since I can't cook as good as her, yet.

7. Ella - the belly dancer. She is also my partner in crime. She shares many ideas, craziness, and slanted eyes. :p

8. Mrs. Po - well, this one is unpredictable. I used to hate her quietly, but I think I'm gonna bury the hatchet and forget it. So, today is the day - and I celebrate it.

How many I've got today?
TWO! Yay! O, no, it's THREE - I've got it back from Ella, and
One from my students gave me - and one from my sister in law. Not even from my hubby - that's fine. ;)

Happy Valentine's Day, all!

Senin, 11 Februari 2013

Happy Bday Mr Giraffe!

I never forgot your birthday although I never gave you a present. You walked away into my life, although you never really leave me but stay in my heart, until today.
I remembered collecting the heart leaves in front of my class when I was in high school. I never forget that I sent the card through your friend every year to your school, without any replies.
You made me giving up that time.
Hopefully, today, with your new life and great family, you can achieve all your dreams and make everything goes smooth as you wish.
I still love you as a brother, best friend, awkward relationship, whatever you called it.
‘till me meet again.
Happy birthday, Mr. Giraffe! All the best! xoxo

Kamis, 17 Januari 2013

I QUIT.. :(

*Sorry kalo postingan ini isinya sumpah serapah – silahkan tidak membaca postingan saya ini.. hiks

“Makanya kalo jualan harus positif”

 Gampang benerrr ngomong begitu. Jujur aku sudah muak dengan semua ini. Berpayah-payah, berhujan-hujan… hanya untuk orang yang tidak menghargai jerih payahku. Stop atur-atur aku, aku udah capek banget bersabar-sabar untuk mereka. 

Mereka ambil waktuku, ambil bensinku, dan keuntungannya bahkan tidak cukup untuk membeli 800 gram susu. Iya, aku ingin uang tambahan, tapi jangan menurunkan harga diriku donk. Aku bekerja keras di bidang lain. 

Jangan tuntut aku untuk bekerja seperti kamu. Kerja sedikit, keuntungannya udah bisa beli mobil Fortuner, seharga setengah milyar..  Toh, itu untuk suamimu. Keluarga suamimu. Bukan untuk aku kan?

Setiap bulannya kamu bisa berikan orang lain uang puluhan bahkan ratusan juta. Sedangkan untuk aku tidak sepeser pun. Aku iklas, itu rejekimu, rejeki suamimu dan anak (bukan) kandungmu. 

Stop saying something that judging me. You said you knew me well, in fact,
You ridiculously never know ANYTHING about me.
God, I’m so tired of being positive, I think I’m gonna quit.. : (

Kamis, 24 Februari 2011

Do you know?

Do you know?
I am suffering from this.
When I woke up, I had to give all my time to you and my son.
Breastfeeding him, no.. I’m not complaining.
But, once his stomach was full – he started to vomit.. vomit.. and vomit.
And… who the one to be blamed?
It’s me!

Everybody said, “Oh.. you eat unhealthy food.”
“Oh, you suppose to stop breastfeeding him after 15 minutes..”
“Oh.. that’s your fault.”
Once I cried, no one cares about it. It’s the mother’s problem. It’s not our problem – they said. 

And now..
He was sick, I was sick as well,
No breastfeeding at all.
I’m suffering from this.
Then I had to take medicine, so I can be better soon,
Then what happened?
He didn’t want it, because the antibiotics made my milk bitter, he refused his food.
I’m suffering from this.
Until now, when he refused it, still my fault. 

“You didn’t take care of your breasts.”
“You have to put warm cloth on it”
“Your breasts are not good” 

Every little thing is my fault.
I’m suffering from this, do you know?

I had to pump it every three hours; I kept in touch with tools not my son,
Do you know? 

I wish I can get more patience from God,
I wish I can stop my tears that flow easily

As if I can resign to be a mother,
I’m doing it, now. But you know, I can’t.

Kamis, 11 Maret 2010

When you can’t say no.

You know sometimes it’s hard for us, especially Indonesian people to say… “NO”, especially when we asked to do something by our boss or our parents.

But I have different things..

I always say NO to my bos who always chased me to teach English, while I’m already sink my self into Indonesian teaching.

I always say NO to whatever my dad says to me, because he starts to be weird person for me, he always being egoism, always wants me to do everything that benefits him.. hello.. ..?! That is parents’ tasks to make the kid happy, have a stable life, and respect the parents – not the opposite way. How could I make you happy if you always suffer me, Dad?

But then, we all know that God always wants the best for us, no matter which ways you choose, believe me, God always lead you to the best way – for YOU.

God never be egoism, God already knew everything before you even think about it. God holds your dream and makes it come true. Then, let me tell you, if God said “YES” you can’t bargain or kneel your knee and ask God to make it “NO”.

Believe me, you can’t say NO if God wants it to become true. Like two days ago, in the morning, when I see two lines instead of one. I knew God, I can’t say no this time.

Thanks for everything; You know I love You more than this.

Jumat, 29 Januari 2010

Without Wings

Before I have this blog, my mysterious reader often asked me. Why "Angel on Earth" ? 
Usually I only answered, because I will never have wings to fly to heaven. They won't let me in. 

Then my reader said, "but you have dreams. that is your wings!" 
I agree. 

However, since I back from Australia, I don't have any dream to reach. I feel empty, I feel everbody looked at me as a different person. An unmotivated person, (that wasn't me..), a person who always said something negative, (that wasn't me), even now, I became a pessimistic person, this isn't me. 

Without a dream, a person can't go anywhere, and surely will go wrong easily. 
I have to make dreams, but I really don't know what I want to do right now. 

I just want to stay in my place not moving forward nor to the back, 
God please help me, 

I'm breathless- cold - and without wings.

In my office on Saturday. 
Feeling empty.

Kamis, 17 Desember 2009

Farewell Friends..

*Friendship is a flame that burn our heart forever..

When I first came to Australia, I didn't have any friends. For a typical indonesian person like me, an independence situation is not my middle name.. (what ashamed...) 
That's why I often cried alone by myself, next to the wall in my small room. 

Lucky in Mullumbimby, there was a casual teacher, I called him Al. He's the same age as my boy friend. He's a surfer so really opposite to me who really afraid of water or sea. He's got a girl friend, we called her, Millie. Millie is a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart. She's funny and both of them are very romantic! However, our real name, three of us are started  with letter A, that's why we called our friendship triple A. 

Al - Me - Mil

When my teacher, Linda went away to Europe for seven weeks, automatically, I only hanging out with Al and Mil. I was grateful, that they took really a good care of me. They introduced me to their friends, had a party, barbie on the beach.. Besides Al gave me a lift everywhere I wanted, took me everyday to school. We were a great teaching partner!! It's so special. Our friendship grew beautifully.

This morning, I went to a cafe to have brekkie with my home stay parents, I invited Al along, because I didn't know when I'll meet  him again. He's going to Tassie to celebrate Chrissy with Mil, while I head back to Bali - though I knew I'll meet him again sometime in Bali. "At least we have to say goodbye.. "That was the sentence that Al said to me yesterday. 

Breakkie was finished at 10 am this morning, and Al and I had to say goodbye... In Aussie, people hug and kissed the cheek of each other. But, Al and I never did it. Well, I hug him when he had his bday - one day after my bday! (Can't you see why we are really a good friend?? and so special??)  We only shook our hands. He knew I've got a boy friend, and I didn't want Mil got jealous.. :) - even that's only a friendship hug! hahaha.. 

He said many things about me, how wonderful friend was me, how amazing our friendship was, how open were we to each other, our sharing moments, our teaching moments, everything. I felt that I couldn't resist my tears. I never had a friend like  him, who really appreciated me, who really knew me well, who really helped me for everything.. then I became very sad to say goodbye to him. I felt that I didn't want him to say farewell to me.

I just shook his hand and said " Sampai ketemu di Bali ya.. " and he said, "Hey, come on, give me a hug..." We hug each other, and it did feel a good farewell for good friends. I was really tried not to cry in front of him, though I could feel that my voice changed. Lucky I wore my sunglasses, so he couldn't see my tears.
Until I wrote this, I still cried, hahhaa.. 

Hey Al, if you read this, you must be laughing at me.. hahaha!
I will miss our chatty time in your car, 
Our time on the beach with Jhonno, Millie, Mandy. 
I'll miss the funny Owi, 
Our teaching *serious moments.. haha..and teasing the year 7 kids.. 
Our latte and mocca time.. 
Hope we can be friend forever, you're my best Aussie friend!!

Farewell, Al. Miss you already! Send my kisses to Milli. Happy Chrissy. :)